The surgeon team of doctors consulted on dad's chart and advised that his disease is now definitely in advanced stages. Pain meds only further damage his liver so they are reluctant to give him more which means he will have to remain in pain.
I continue to worry how my mother is holding up with this latest news.
Across the street from my parents is a very good neighbor and friend , Bill, who is also a former ER nurse. He has provided a treasured source of comfort and information. Bill said something very poignant to us what is now late-yesterday evening:
My mother and I are given a gift. A gift to be able to say goodbye. A gift to be able to make choices. A gift to help my father move on to his next stage in life with dignity. A gift to help my father be welcomed by God's loving arms. A gift to tell him how very, very much we love and adore him.
As I learned so beautifully from my father, a gift is only worthwhile when it is shared.
We are sharing this same gift with you. A moment to write something on how my father touched your lives for him to read while he is still with us. This is for you to contribute. Your spouse to contribute. Your children to contribute.
{Each entry will be printed on 4x6 card stock and attached like a book, which he can read or it will be read to him this weekend. My only request is that each written comment be kept upbeat and not full of sorrow for we are celebrating the good and amazing person we all know and love!}
33 comments:
Ok, me first!
Your gift of love can never be fully measured or repeated. All that you and mom have taught me, all that you and mom have shared with me, and all that you and mom have given me, will forever be my greatest attributes. But above all else that you have given me or given mom or given those whom you love and love you, the most treasured of them all is the one you gave to me on January 19, 1971. The day you ran to the front of the line to legally call me your daughter. God has the most special place in heaven for you because of your tremendous heart. I love you so very, very, very, very much. Kathleen
Yes, Dad, you are able to do it all! What you do best is give us the gift of laughter and the gift to feel the beauty of nature, children and spirit. Your soul is so generous I can not put it into words! I do not enjoy even watching a simple television program the same without you....you laugh so generously out loud that I enjoy the experience all the more!
You are the charm in my life, my lover, my best friend. You enrich me and others with your passion and God graces me and others with your presence and spirit. I will always love you, FELIPEVILLE!
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28.
Uncle Phil I cannot express the happy memories that I have growing up with you, aunt Phyllis and Kathy in my family's life. Each of us: Mom, Lee, Lora, Donna, David, Jeff and Henry remember how much you were there for us as a family. From the bottom of our hearts, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE GOOD TIMES. I just hope you have forgiven my brothers for breaking Kathy's sled. LOL We love you uncle Phil.
Uncle Phil,
I remember walking to Whiting and stopping at your UPS depot in Hammond. We talked you always asked how my Family was. I liked that you always thought of us and were so generous to my family. You gave me my first car and it ran great. The Vega.
Your smile always made me smile.
I remember another day we were in your kitchen and your dog "Moncha" I think that was the dogs name or was it peanuts? Well the dog farted and you started cracking up making everyone else laugh there butt off.
I hope to be half the father you were, to my kids.
I love you and you and your family will always be in my thoughts and prayers.
Your Nephew,
Jeffrey Davids
I wish I could pick one memory and talk about it but how do you do that, when they are all good??? There are many things in my house I cherish but there are only a few things in my house I am honored to have. They are the things that you were made me with your talented hands. They are displayed with honor and are not replaceable. You and Aunt Phyllis have enlighted us through the years with laughter, kindness and generosity. You are the reason people strive to be a better person. If we could all be half the person you are - then this world would be as great as you. We love you very much - May heaven be blessed because of you.
Uncle Phil,
The cutest legs that ever wore UPS shorts!! Don't ever doubt that you are special and loved by all who came in contact with you. The material items you made for me will always be cherished but moreso will be the fun and sad times we have had together.
Big Hug and Lots of Kisses are being sent your way and I know that you will share them wtih Aunt PHyllis and Kathy because that is the type of person you are.
Kluga seconds my sentiments.
Love, Julia
Uncle Phil
I can remember spending the night at your house in Dyer. I can remember how Aunt Phyllis and cousin Kathy looked at you, responded to what you had to say, and the overall goodness of the family enviroment in which i got to see every time you had me over. Before you go i would like you to realize how much you helped me, as well as my whole family. You're a "Good Dude" Uncle Phil and i too hope to be as good a father and husband as you. My prayers are with you and the family.
Your Nephew and God son
Henry Davids
"The kid in you". In the last few years,I`ve had the good fortune to spend some time in California, with most of the time staying at "Aunt and Uncle Phil's.We've shared alot of laughs,and a few tears,but most of all some great memories that will forever be etched in my being. Now,I consider myself an early riser,but no matter how early I would wake,Uncle Phil would already be sitting with Cory and Delaney,telling them stories, jokes, riddles and laughing just as hard as them! Aunt Phelia would shake her head and say "thats Phelipe,just one of the kids" In fact, I woke earlier then usual one day, determined to beat him to the kids, only to discover the three of them eating breakfast in bed and watching cartoons-to boot!!!Thank you, for all the great times, I can only hope to become half the Uncle you have been to me and my children. LIVE LOVE LAUGH, sincerely, all our LOVE, Dobbs,Maria,Cory and Delaney
Phil,
You've been a great friend and a wonderful guy to spend time with ever since you moved out west!!! If in fact the good Lord calls you home before he takes me (and no one knows their hour, now do they?) please save me a spot cause I can't wait to meet up with you and all of our loved ones that put their faith in Jesus and were saved!!! In fact, St Paul was given a glimpse of Heaven while he was alive and from that point on he preached that he WISHED he would be taken from this world IMMEDIATELY because he saw the difference first hand!!! Wow, think about that, huh? Anyway, all of my praayers and certainly everyone elses' too can and do make a difference and you just might be given more than you can imagine. Looking forward to seeing you in person. Your amigo, Gary
The opportunity to tell someone how special they are to you, instead of just hoping they know it. This is truly a special gift. How perfect that this gift comes from you. The man that showed a punk kid from the neighborhood (that was just learning to live on his own) how a life should be lived. You welcomed me into your home (usually uninvited) to spend a day sitting in the backyard, a night sitting at the kitchen table or time spent in the garage/woodshop (where there was never any room to sit). You taught me about life’s simple pleasures, good company, laughter, great food, music, that it was ok to grow up and still have a child’s innocent heart and that enjoying these things with friends and family would lead to a fulfilling life. These lessons were not formal but over the years I have learned to appreciate how valuable they are to me. Con todo mi corazón, les doy las gracias. My most treasured gift from you is that you always treated me like family, maybe even better because I think I got to drink the good tequila at least once, maybe twice. You always have and always will make me smile. I always called you Mr. D, but I could just as easily called you Uncle Phil. Love always, Gregg
I remember you, Mr. Delgado, driving 4 girls to Great America, I remember Sundance running around the house. I remember cleaning out the garage on a cold Saturday afternoon. I can't recall all the times I spent in your home, but I know how welcome you and Phyllis made me feel,they were always great ones! I'm glad you chose to move to Dyer when you did. Thanks for the memories and God Bless!
Love,
Sally
Dear Uncle Phil,
You came into my life too late. What a joy it was to spend time with you in New Mexico and to get to know you better from that point forward.
God brings people in to our lives when we need them most; and he brought you like in Angel to me.
I will never forget the time we spent roofing my parents house. I was a snot-nosed kid and you took the time to talk to me about our family; who we were and where we came from. We didn't get much work done that day, but the indelible memories are etched in my heart forever. You cared enough about your nephew to take the time to talk with him - thank you!!!
Patience, kindness, humility!
Those little things that come so hard for many, but so naturual for you - pleases God. Your blssings have been rich!
God Bless you Uncle Phil, Aaron
there is just too many wonderful memories too pick from I always had alot of fun at your house. you were always playing games with us or making something like the picnic table you made for Gary's 1st b-day that i still have and always will.
we can't forget about sundance I remember when we went to get some ice cream and we took the dog with us because sundance wanted everything we had and loved ice cream.
like i said there is too many wonderful memories you are a very loving & caring uncle that
I love you very much.
lisa
Uncle Phil,
How can I sum up all the love and respect I have for you in one letter. You have always been there for my family and me. You made me laugh, smile and feel the extreme love that you had for all of your family memebers. I can still remember your house across from the park that you use to take me to play and then my boys. The famous Dairy Queen trips with sundance or the basement where we used to play all your board games. My life has been truly blessed because of your being a big part of it! I love you soooo much.
P.S. Your mustache always tickled me when you would snuggle with me!
Love you,
Rena and family
Phil,
You have been such an important part of Rena's life and that of the boys that I can't express how much that means to them and me. I truly cherish memories of you and your welcoming me as the "new guy" in the family many years ago. I also remember our many poker games at Joes house. By the way, my two girls are almost teenagers and they are starting to get very expensive!! If you want to play poker anytime soon let me know as I could use the extra cash!!
Phil, I know there is a special place waiting for you and you're in our thoughts and prayers always.
Graham
hey uncle phil,
I wanted to tell you how much you mean to me. i remember you for being the goofy, and funny guy who always made me laugh. I have memories of dinners and get togethers when i was just a kid. You loved to hang out with us kids. I remember my aunt getting mad because you were not with the adults. You walk away and tell us that Aunt Phyliss will not let you play any more. I remember most those puppets you had that I loved to punch, I loved this. I havent seen you in a long time due to being away, but i just wanted you to know that you will be missed. I love you very much. And you will always be someone very close to my
heart.
love your nephew,
Andrew Kenyon
Rena's Son
Uncle Phil,
When my mom asked me to write something about you I had to stop and think about what one thing I would write about. If you remember my mom and dad separated when I was young. I remember you being a very important part of my life. I remember the pranks you would play on my brother and me. I will tell you my sisters do not enjoy the pranks as much as we did. I always thought you were the coolest uncle becasue you would play with us even if that meant that you would get in trouble. I remember going over your house for Christmas and we could not afford a lot of things because mom was raising us by herself and you went all out!!! I did not know it then that we were poor but I remember my mother crying on the way home that her children were blessed with such a good Christmas!! Uncle Phil you are the man that I hope to grow up to be. I love you very much!!!
Ryan Kenyon
Rena's Son
hey uncle phil
i remember the fun times we have had and there r so many of them one of them was when u bought me binoculars and we went to walts down the street from my house and you told me that you can see the sears tower from there it was true,it was really cool. also i remember us talking about the stars and looking at them we saw a shooting star, man u had some funny jokes as well, u were like one of the kids like we were always wanting to play with us and getting into trouble from aunt phyllis i miss u so much i hope i can be a wonderful father like you You will always be remembered in the warmest part of my heart love u uncle phil,
love gary.
We all know that Uncle Phil is a wonderful woodworker among other things but woodworking he was a perfectionist. I remember one time when Victor and I were dating Jessica had this baby cradle that we bought at a "crap" store and we wanted to give this to her for Christmas. Victor nor I liked it very much but figure it would "do". We mentioned this to Uncle Phil and Aunt Phyllis in conversation and right away Uncle Phil said "bring it over and we'll see what we can do". Aunt Phyllis and I started on sanding it and discussing painting it when Uncle Phil walked in, stopped us from what we were doing and I said, "I'll finish this and you can pick it up later". When I picked up the finished product, it was beautiful and what we wanted. It matched her bedroom set perfectly and had gold wings on the headboard. Aunt Phyllis even sewed Jessie a mattress, blanket and pillow. THAT WAS THE BEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT EVER that was given to Jessica! We still have that cradle along with the bedding and other wonderful items in our home that Uncle Phil made. You are a genuine man with a GREAT BIG heart who brought love,joy and laughter into our lives. You and Aunt Phyllis will always have special places in our hearts,lives and home. We love you.
Jenn, Victor, Jessica and LIllian
Hi Phil,
I know Jim and I don't know you as well as many of the other people posting here, but we want you to know that we feel privledged to know you and cherish the fun times that we spent with you. The concert season at the Hollywood Bowl was great. Seeing all the amazing things that you were doing to your house really inspired us when we lived close by you....you were always coming up with something great.
I am so glad to have had the good luck to get the chance call from Phyllis that led to my meeting both of you.
You are being held in our postive and loving thoughts.
Kathy and Jim
Okay Uncle Phil...some people call me Barbara, BK Nation, Sleeze Bag (Kluga calls me this)and as the season nears ---HO, HO, HO!, but you so affectionally called me Babs. I love you, and worshipped the tennis shorts you would wear when you and Uncle Frank (Pa) played tennis across the street from Grandma Martinez's place. I remember all of the great Sunday's we would share as family & friends at the Martinez Gary abode. But most of all I remember you, your big smile, sense of humor and generous heart you so selflessly gave to us thoughout the years---I know what "Brown (Uncle Phil) Can & Has Done For Us". You've enriched our lives. XXOO Babs
ODE TO FELIPEVILLE
From the dusty streets of Ogden, to the littered alleys of Watling Street, then to the high rise of Van Buren Street. The beloved homes & apartments of Gary, were followed by the family home on Tyler Street--next to the remotest town in Michigan-- known to us as Felipeville, finally to Rose Avenue in Long Beach, there is where our favorite brother-in-law Fellipeville dwells. Love you lots. Don Vincente & Becks
uncle phil,
remember the time when i was in 2nd or 3rd grade and I needed a grandparent. my grandparents were on vacation, so i asked you if you would come to my school and be my grandparent because i didnt want to be only one without a grandparent. you told me you would love to do it. do you also remember me telling you what i wanted you to wear. i told you that you needed to wear a nice shirt and comb you hair. you told me should i wear a suit, i said no just a nice shirt, nice pants and make sure you comb your hair. we all know about uncle phils hair. when i stated to remember that i just laughed. you know i still tell my mom when we go out are you really going to wear that!! i just want you to know that you can be my fillin grandparent any time.
I LOVE YOU
samm
Mr.D, if it wasn't for Gregg I wouldn't of had the chance to have you be a special part of my life. You & Mrs.D treated me like family right from the start over 23 years ago(WOW-am I old). We've shared good food, drinks & conversations at Café Borgia & your homes. You joined us in NYC so Gregg could show you the city he LOVES & see a fella only wearing "chaps" on the subway. You also followed us to Tucson to keep Gregg company, while I attended a Bear Conference and joined us for a lovely evening of food, drink & entertainment(the Doo-Wop band & the kid dancers) at the Reid Park Zoo. Speaking of zoos, you came to Brookfield so I can show you all my babies up close. Yeah, they're lions,tigers & bears but,how many people can say they fed an ice cream cone to a polar bear. Now you understand why I love these majestic creatures. I'll always cherish the beautiful hand crafted plate rack that's in our kitchen-you are so talented. I do want to bring up one little thing that you & Mrs.D still owe Gregg & I; a trip to Mexico so you can be our tour guides. I only took German in school so I need a translator & I'm not counting on Gregg's Spanish; I would end up coming back to the states alone. So let us know when you're ready for a road trip!! Love ya, Christy
Uncle Phil, When I was 14 or 15 you let me sit in the drivers seat of your powder blue volkswagon and you told me to never look directly in front of me. You said "Always look at the big picture." Uncle Phil, I have always remembered that in my life. Its crazy the things we pick up and keep with us. Thank you, my prayers are with you. You and aunt Phelia were always an energy of love.
Brother-in-law Phillip,
I can still remember your family's Visits in Marktown, when my children introduced the woods to Kathy. Or the time in Gary when we went to visit and again my children showed Kathy what her brand new shiny sled was really for. Best of all Phil, was the sharing of yourself to my young restless children. The playing in the living room, ball throwing in the park, or whatever you did to make them laugh and yell so that Felia and I had time to ourselves. You have given me so many wonderful memories of you, I treasure them all. Your sister in Christ, Inez.
Hey Phil,
You are the perfect example of a person that is so warm and welcoming, that after someone meets you and is around you for awhile...you start to feel like "family". My niece Christy & especially Gregg have admired & mention the Delgados what seems like forever. Gregg, as you know, always teases his parents about everything they do or do not do. Since Gregg had no wise cracks about you, I figured The Delgados had to be like his favorite Aunt and Uncle he wished he could live with as a kid whenever he got pissed off at his parents. :) When I found out you were the Otts neighbors back in Dyer IN and not relatives...I knew you had to be some pretty special people. It took you getting to Cali before I finally met you though (unless I met you and didn't know it at the UPS depot in Hammond back in the day when I lived in the Calumet region). Now I get it why Phil Delgado is loved so much. You go out of your way to show TLC when you really don't have to but that's how you do it. That's sure a measure of a good man. Besides that you are just plain enjoyable to be around. You and Phyllis can also "cut a rug". I saw you two jitterbugg'n at Georgie & Marcy Ott's wedding last year. It's fun watching you have a good time...and it's contagious. So my friend, you are on our list of things to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. To put it simply... "thumbs up" to you, Phil.."thumbs up" to you.
Marilyn & Mat Mathews
Hey Phillpe, This is Locha. Hey Phillpe, how do you spell Loch, that's what you called me all the time. I Love You, God Bless You. Love, Locha
A proud man, a loyal man, sincere man, happy go lucky man. A quiet man, a gentle man, a prideful man. A great husband and father. That spells Phil Delgado. So many memories touched people in different ways. That's how he touched our lives. We Love You, God Bless You. Love, Louie & Dawn
Rueben and I have had the pleasure of being part of your family for over 10 years and it seems like we have been there since the beginning. This is the kind of people you are; you invite them into your home and love them with all your heart.
Phil, we all know that someday you will be a Laker fan, but in the meantime we can enjoy giving you a hard time about it.
I remember one New Years Eve at your house dancing with you and Rueben dancing with Phyllis, Kathy and your neighbors. Boy what fun and the memories will always be there.
Keep good faith in God and we will see you again one day!
We love you.
Becks' says...
With the zest for life your wife & daughter shower on you Phil, how can you not bounce back. God has a way of attaching us to the right people.
Dad...
I don't think I found out what your first name was for the first year that I knew you! I always called you and Phyllis "Dad and Mom" for good reason. I always thought of you both as my "adopted" parents (not because I was always over as a teenager, ha-ha), but because you opened your home and your heart to welcome me and my family. My parents often ask about you both, and we all continue to pray for health, happiness and peace.
I have many fond memories, too many to count. If I had to select just one, one that I shared with Kathy (Deli) just this morning, is the first time I came to your house. It was Kathy's slumber party in 7th grade, and I remember how cooool I thought your house was. You had that big wooden "D" hanging with the other assorted mod things downstairs by the tv, and I couldn't help thinking that your house was just as hip as a Barbie dollhouse!
A man's success is not determined by how many things or how much money he has, but by how much he has touched the lives of those around him. Mom and Dad, miles and years may have separated us, but you are both in my heart forever. You have watched us grow up, and rejoiced in our lives as adults. For that, I thank you, and am so blessed to have had you in my life. Love always, Bow and family.
Vince & Becks say:
Felipeville,
What's in a name. Were you just called Phil you would still be the Felipeville we love & respect. We still remember & talk about that trip in which you got your new name. What fun it was for the four of us. After Phelia dubbed you Felipeville & we helped perpetrate it. How we laughed on that trip especially because she (Phelia) follwed up with saying you should sit on the shoe repair stand you guys purchased. You just kept saying "she doesn't mean that". The other memorable trip was when Frank joined us we stopped to get gasoline. I told Frank "I'll pay, you pump & let Phil clean the windows 'cause he won't leave any streaks". And of course you left no streaks. I told you that "you're a pain in the---," (affectionately) with your perfection not only in the way you clean windows, but the way you iron & fold clothes & the neatness of your dresser drawers. Yeah, I have to admit thats a good thing & I'm envious so I say, "you're a pain in the---". We still remember the day Phelia looked in one of my dresser drawers & called out "Hey Phil, come & look at Vinces' drawers". Good memories such as these are an important part of our lives & make us think of you & Phelia often. Our best wishes & prayers for you--Felipeville!
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